Back in Nam.

So I’m just going to get this out of the way now: I very much am looking forward to accidently burning the side of my leg on the exhaust pipe of one of the motorbike taxies (which are hell of cool to ride—it’s weird to have to hug/hold onto someone you don’t know), or accidentally tripping and skinning my knee, or hell, even accidentally choking on some bangarang Vietnamese food for the sake of having an explanation to an injury that can be prefaced with “Oh that? It happened back in ‘Nam…”

Kevin’s pet ‘Nam expression is going to be “well that was before ‘Nam.”

I spent our first day in Ho Chi Minh doing very, very, very little. In fact, I did nothing. I walked down the street from our ship and, while thinking of an article Toni had us read for our gender class, bought a pack of cigarettes so I could smoke one on the way back. The article stressed how rare it was for women in Vietnam to smoke cigarettes. Since the vast majority of what they teach us in Cultural Pre-Port has turned out to be unrelated or outdated information, I decided test out the whole smoking thing for myself, firsthand.

Results? Okay, so I did get some stares when I was walking down the street, cigarette-free. After I lit one up, though…damn! So, thank you, Toni Zimmerman, for presenting us with information about a country that was both relevant and accurate…and wasn’t completely false.

Seriously, though… about that whole telling-us-things-we-need-to-know-to-survive-in-these-cultures thing… stop it! I’m not even surprised anymore when I learn that something we’ve been taught was a faux pas actually isn’t anymore, and I’m learning these things at the very welcome receptions they suggest we go to for an intro to the culture. I’m learning them from the locals on the streets and the guides during small talk. Note to anyone going to India: no, using your left hand to hand something to someone will not horrify all people. Malaysia: you’ll see the shoulders of many local women in Kuala Lumpur.

Some of the things are true, too—don’t get me wrong. It’s true that showing irritation in some places will be seen as losing face. It’s true that American women might not want to stay out late at night in some ports because of the reputation they have overseas. I guess the rest of it is just to leave us in a state of being too cautious rather than not cautious enough. At least I hope that’s what it is. I’d rather not think it’s more that they haven’t done their research on cultural norms since 1956.

Got a couple of lovely phone calls going on again today: I called my mom this afternoon. I was hoping to catch her while it was still Easter Sunday in the States, but that didn’t happen. It was more like Early Monday. Oops. She was happy to hear from me (of course [who wouldn’t be?]) and gave me some updates on what’s going on at our homes.

I also got to talk to Bill, just about a half an hour ago, mid-blogging. It was, as usual, nice to hear his voice. I’m glad I get to do that more often. The week-long stretches between ports that we had between San Juan and Salvador, Salvador and Cape Town, and Cape town and Port Louis were hell for that. Now, we’re only at sea for three days here and there. Well, until the stretch between Japan and the US. Grrr.

I was in a bit of a mood today. A horrible one, actually. When I got off the ship, I didn’t go far and walked right back on after hitting up an internet café. I came back and slept, and slept and slept and slept. April’s not a good month for me this year, mostly because it wasn’t good for me last year, and apparently, that is affecting me. I was fine some months ago and anticipated nothing come the anniversary, but I was wrong, I guess.

Some people made me feel better, though. Zhimin (quite possibly the nicest guy on the ship) asked me why I looked so sad. He’s so awesomely sweet that I didn’t want to give him the ol’ lie “hmm? nothing" so I gave him a couple-sentence explanation of why this month is affecting me. He encouraged me, “well you should try very hard to get over that because you are going to have a lot more Aprils” and it was one of those obvious statements that very much helped me to at least glance in the right direction. Maybe I needed to hear that, or maybe it was his cute Chinese accent, but he helped.

Afterwards, Andrea called me and first asked if I wanted to go out with them. I said I felt like staying in. She said, “Okay, well would you then come to my room to look at a rash I have? I have this weird purple rash on my leg and I don’t know what it is.” I agreed, I showed up, I looked at her leg, and the rest of the hour or so was spent, of course, with the two of them (Kevin and Andrea) trying to finish baiting me enough to go out. At one point, Kevin had me pinned in various positions (he was a wrestler), demanding that I submit and come out lest he keep me in the embarrassing entanglements for as long as he could (which would have been very, very long, as he wasn’t even trying though I was struggling as hard as I could). They couldn’t convince me, and when others showed up and we all left the room, I went back to my cabin. Upon entering, however, I actually said out loud, “I’m passing up alcohol for this?” and ran back out, made it to the gangway, saw that their cards had been swiped, and made my way to the gate where they were bargaining with motorbike taxies. They were happy. I was happy. Yay. After a few failures, our lifts took the three of us to a really nice bar with a pretty talented band (though they sang only American “hits”). Our bartenders were both hot and talented. The drinks they gave us were amazing. Two men and a woman kept staring at either Andrea or myself.

A particular crew member who is always the first to detect my mood and often the first to make me feel better did his job today. It’s cool to see someone go out of his way to ask twice about how I’m doing and show concern against the backdrop of whispers among other crew people. Goddamn politics. Being kind is so lovely. I appreciate it.

Speaking of crew members, today (yesterday) was Brian’s birthday! Brian from the piano bar is one of the most wonderful individuals on this ship/in the world/ever to have existed. I absolutely love him [in a strictly platonic and non-fraternizing way]! I made him a card and it is awesome. I’ll have to remember to take pictures of it.

Brian’s so great. He’s a beautiful person and often makes me feel better when I find that his bar’s not overcrowded with crazy kids who shout orders at him rather than politely ask for their peanut M&M’s. He thinks I’m “cool”. That’s funny. Also, he sure has the most English, even European sounding full name I’ve ever heard of for an Indian man. He often tries to discourage me from using an American accent by feigning one himself. When we were in Cape Town, he loved it, as it was impossible for me to maintain an American tongue in country of people who all sound like me. He’s also crazy into progressive rock, and any of the points I didn’t score for being Indian I earned tenfold for being the first person on the ship to have even heard of his favourite band, let alone guess it (he literally hopped when I asked about Dream Theater).

Today, I realized I lost Rajesh’s business card. Damn.

Okay, bedtime.